Our life's demands can often feel like a never-ending race, especially for freelancers and overachievers. The constant hustle to meet deadlines, achieve goals, and maintain personal well-being can leave you feeling stretched thin. This is where the Three-Layers Cake Life Coaching Method® comes in— a transformative, holistic life coaching approach I've developed to help you achieve balance and thrive.

This method is the culmination of my journey, forged from a decade of working in fast-growing small businesses and startups, followed by four years of building my own business and embracing all the roles that are entailed. Over the years, I have been driven by my persistent quest for balance and cultivating a sense of joy.

I once lived in polarities—swinging between overindulgence and excessive restraint and control—always searching for that balance I didn’t seem to grasp.

Through trial and error, and with the help of various tools and practices of stress management, mindfulness, personal development, and working with coaches and therapists, I've crafted a life that truly resonates with me. Along the way, I've gained profound self-awareness, recognizing the negative thoughts patterns and triggers of harmful behaviors while understanding the core of my motivations. This journey has helped me to nurture self-acceptance, tolerance, love for myself and others, all grounded in mindfulness.

And today, I would like to share it with you. 

What if you could start your day with a personal ritual that invigorates your mind and body, and keeps your uplifted for the rest of the day? As you move through your day, your schedule is not just packed with meetings but thoughtfully planned, allowing you to adapt to unexpected challenges without losing your sense of direction. You tackle your tasks with a sense of purpose, yet there's an underlying ease, knowing that you've carved out time for breaks and reflection.

In the evening, you can engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation—perhaps reading a book, practicing a hobby, or spending quality time with loved ones. This mindful approach to living doesn't just enhance your productivity; it enriches your entire existence.

Here is an example with a coaching client that I will call Lara for the sake of confidentiality. She used to feel constantly overwhelmed, with a nervous system on edge, struggling to set her boundaries and overcommitted herself at work and with her social circle. By adopting the Three Layers Cake Life Coaching Method® (which I didn’t call like that back then), we worked on her beliefs, tapped into her inner-resources, so that she could learn to prioritize her well-being without feeling guilty, invite a bit more spontaneity and time to pause, to embrace a more flexible work routine. Now, despite her demanding work, Lara starts carves mindful breaks for short yoga practices, schedules focused work sessions, and ensures she has time for family dinners. The transformation has been profound—she feels more balanced, fulfilled, and creatively inspired to follow a vision for her life that gives her a sense of direction and joy.

This is an example which illustrates how My Three Layers Cake Life Coaching Method® can bring about a holistic transformation. It’s about living in alignment with your values and needs, ensuring you thrive from within. Let me talk to you a bit more on what these layers consist of and how they can help you to shift your energy to transform your life into a harmonious way of living, a softer way of living.

1. Foundation: Self-Care

The base layer of the Three Layers Cake Life Coaching Method® is self-care, the essential ingredient for a balanced life. Self-care involves more than just physical health; it encompasses emotional and mental well-being. This includes also, regular exercise, a nutritious diet, sufficient sleep, and time for self-reflection, relaxation and hobbies. By prioritizing self-care, you build a strong foundation that supports all other aspects of your life.

Self-Care and Limiting Beliefs

Self-care is about focusing on your mental health as a fundamental pillar, enabling you to tap into your inner resources and take actions aligned with your needs and true desires. This involves deconditioning your life by understanding the underlying limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in cycles of fear and negative thought loops. These beliefs can make you feel inadequate and lead to constant comparison with others.

Whether these limiting beliefs stem from your upbringing, cultural influences, or the environment you live in, they can push you into extremes—either striving too hard for validation or overindulging due to a lack of self-belief. For instance, you might push yourself relentlessly to seek validation, or conversely, you might overindulge, believing that you are incapable of completing tasks, dreaming bigger than your comfort zone or reaching your goals.

Reconnect to Your Needs to Feel Whole

When you reconnect with what truly matters to you—what you value and what brings you joy, both physically and mentally—you start to see the difference between what you need to thrive and what is just ego-driven. Often, what we want is tied to a feeling of lack, making us think we need something external to feel whole. These wants can lead us to constantly chase after new goals, possessions, or validations, creating a cycle of perpetual dissatisfaction.

In contrast, focusing on your real needs is about understanding your deeper self and tapping into your inner resources. This helps you manage your energy better, stay connected to your body and mind, and invites more softness and less resistance into your life.

In mindfulness, we call this "living from the inside out." It means making your inner values and needs the priority, rather than chasing after external approval or superficial goals. It's about truly knowing your own thoughts, feelings, and needs, and letting them guide your choices. This way, your actions are not driven by a sense of lack or a need for external validation but are grounded in a stable and authentic sense of self.

Living From the Inside-Out

Living from the inside out means your life isn’t controlled by outside pressures or temporary situations. Instead, it’s built on a solid foundation of who you truly are, your qualities and strengths, your skills, your energy levels, your needs, your relationship to yourself, your thoughts, emotions and situations...and so much more. 

This deeper connection to your real self lets you recognize and honor your true needs, leading to a life that matches what you genuinely desire. As a result, you find real fulfillment and resilience because everything you do is aligned with you. It helps you to foster a sense of wholeness and contentment, as you are no longer striving for external validation but are centered in your true essence, creating a life of balance and genuine satisfaction.

2. Middle Layer: Structured Flexibility

The middle layer of the Three Layers Cake Life Coaching Method® is structured flexibility, a crucial element for maintaining balance and achieving your goals. Structured flexibility is about creating a dynamic yet stable framework for your day-to-day life, allowing you to adapt to changing circumstances while staying focused on your priorities. This balance between structure and flexibility helps you navigate life's uncertainties without losing your sense of direction or purpose.

Creating a Flexible Schedule

Structured flexibility begins with establishing a clear framework that encompasses your essential tasks and goals, including your “non-negociables” in terms of self-care—what you need to feel good and thrive. This might involve setting specific work hours, scheduling regular breaks, and dedicating time to personal development, leisure activities or time with loved ones.

The key to structured flexibility is balancing purpose with adaptability. While it’s important to be in control of your schedule and disciplined to achieve specific goals, it’s equally vital to allow time and space to slow down, thereby inviting spontaneity into your life. There may be phases where you need to intensify your focus and sacrifice social interactions to achieve something significant. However, it’s crucial to occasionally permit yourself to veer off your planned path, letting life surprise you and inviting more flexibility and joy into your routine.

It’s about being organized and disciplined enough to stay on track with your goals, while remaining open to change and new opportunities, ultimately cultivating a sense of joy and fulfillment.

Responding to Change with More Ease

Life is unpredictable, and rigid schedules can often lead to frustration and burnout when things don't go as planned. Structured flexibility empowers you to respond to change with ease and grace. By incorporating buffer times and flexible slots into your schedule, you create room for the unexpected, thereby reducing stress and enhancing your ability to cope with challenges. This approach not only enhances your sense of accomplishment but also supports your mental and emotional well-being.

However, it's important to acknowledge that embracing structured flexibility isn't always easy. It requires practice, patience, and self-compassion. There will be times when adjusting your plans feels challenging and uncomfortable, and that’s okay. Being kind to yourself and remembering that this is a journey of continuous growth and learning can make a significant difference.

And this is why building a strong foundation “layer” of self-care is so important in the first place. While all the layers are interconnected in a way. Without identifying limiting beliefs, needs and what matters to you in the first place, it would be like going on a hike without navigation or a compass.

This approach encourages you to stay focused on your long-term goals while being adaptable; it allows you to learn from setbacks, adjust your strategies, and continue progressing as a human being, and it also helps you develop an attitude where uncertainties and doubts are welcomed with more acceptance, and where daunting challenges are seen as opportunities to step out of your comfort zone and learn along the way.

While it’s important to stay focused on your goals, balancing this focus with ease and relaxation is essential. I’ve learned to allow myself to experience moments of spontaneity and joy, even amid a busy schedule. This balance ensures that you are not only productive but also fulfilled and content. It’s about finding harmony between striving for achievement and allowing yourself to simply be. For instance, taking a spontaneous afternoon off to enjoy the outdoors can recharge my energy and creativity.

Embracing Change with Confidence

In the end, it's about trusting yourself to navigate the ebb and flow of life while staying anchored in your core values and aspirations. This approach empowers you to live a dynamic, resilient life where you can be more at ease amidst uncertainty and change. Remember, it may not be easy, but with compassion and practice, the rewards of a balanced and joyful life are well worth the effort.

3. Top Layer: Lightness and Presence

The top layer of the Three Layers Cake Life Coaching Method® adds the finishing touch—lightness and presence. This layer is about cultivating a mindful approach to daily life, staying present in the moment, and finding joy in everyday activities. By integrating practices such as gratitude, meditation, and mindful breathing, you can enhance your sense of presence and bring a lightness to your day.

Cultivating Mindfulness and Joy

I grew up in a village in the South of France until I was 19. While village life has its own challenges, I was fortunate to be raised with fields behind my house where my brother and I would run around, play with the neighbors, and discover many types of insects and flowers. We grew up cultivating a sense of wonder and amazement that new discoveries can bring. Now, I try to nurture this sense of wonder daily by appreciating the beautiful moments life offers.

Mindfulness allows us to savor the journey rather than just focusing on the destination. When we practice mindfulness, we become more aware of the present moment, which lets us appreciate the small, often overlooked moments of joy in our daily life. Whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning, taking a walk in nature, or spending time with loved ones, these moments become richer and gain in intensity through the attention with infuse in them.

Practicing Gratitude

Later on in my healing journey, I discovered the power of gratitude. Reflecting on what I am thankful for regularly has shifted my focus from what might be lacking in my life to what is abundant and positive. It takes only a few minutes per day but this shift not only has enhanced my mood and helped me to have more discernment, detach from things, and see the good even in challenging situations. For example, on tough days, noting down even the smallest things I’m grateful for can soften the hardships, and give me perspective.

Incorporating Meditation and Mindful Breathing

Incorporating meditation and mindful breathing into my routine has been incredibly grounding. If I don’t sleep well, my mind tends to be hyper-active in the morning and I start my day with a whirlwind of anxious thoughts. I definitely notice when I don’t take the time to practice for a few days, I definitely feel more restless. However, when I start my morning with a slow pace, by gently moving my body and practice mindful breathwork or a short meditation, I can help my thoughts settle down, and bring my attention inwards.

These practices reduce stress and anxiety, allowing you to approach each day with a calm and centered mindset. I’ve found that as I become more attuned to my breath and my body, I develop a deeper connection to myself and my surroundings. Sometimes, just a few minutes of mindful breathing throughout the day can recharge my batteries and reset.

Embracing the Journey

Ultimately, the top layer of lightness and presence is about fostering a sense of curiosity and gratitude in your everyday life. It's not about forcing yourself to find happiness in every moment, but rather about being open to noticing the small, meaningful moments that might otherwise go unnoticed. Slowing down and staying connected to the present can help you appreciate these moments more deeply.

By weaving mindfulness, gratitude, and a positive outlook into your daily routine, you can cultivate a life that feels more balanced and enriching. This approach gently steers your actions with more serenity and joy, guiding you towards a life that is more purposeful and sprinkled with moments of lightness and presence. Remember, this isn't a one-size-fits-all solution or a promise of constant happiness. It's about gradually integrating these practices into your life, enjoying the process, and being open to the richness of the present.

In summary, the Three Layers Cake Life Coaching Method® is designed to help you build a balanced and fulfilling life, starting with a solid foundation of self-care, incorporating structured flexibility, and embracing lightness and presence. When we work together, it’s about building up from this foundation at your own rhythm, always considering your energy levels and personal circumstances.

Through this process, you'll tap into your inner resources and get to know yourself better, not just individually but also in your relationships with others and the world around you. These layers are not separate; they are deeply integrated. We might work on them in parallel, recognizing that everything in life is interconnected and that an imbalance in one area can affect all other dimensions of our lives. By weaving these elements together, we create a cohesive and resilient approach to living.

We are multi-layered beings, and our work together will reflect that complexity. As we delve deeper into your unique situation on a one-to-one level, we will address the intricacies of your experiences and challenges. This holistic approach ensures that you are not just managing tasks but truly thriving from within. Each layer supports and enhances the others, leading to a life that is aligned with your true self and aspirations, fostering a sense of harmony and fulfillment.